new patterns will be here this week!

& in honor of this glorious fact, i decided to make sugar cookies that matched the colours of the new midnight train pattern!

& like all well-thought-out ideas (a-hem)...this one failed miserably. i am not a free-hand artist, let's be real. so when i attempted to cut shapes without a pattern out of cookie dough-let's just say i wasn't too impressed by the end results...*coughs* here's a picture to show you that not all craft/baking projects we do over here are successes. ouch.

thankfully i saved most of the dough & just made bone & hydrant shaped cookies-that did look great & matched the new pattern.

enjoy & stay tuned for when we give the "all clear" to ordering the new stuff!

the case of the kitchen stink

i came home after the show...and there was a super not-great smell to the kitchen.

now the kitchen is my domain (clearly)...i buy groceries, i cook all the food, i keep it clean. and that's why i was so puzzled. i am super weird about "freshness" and never let things expire.

what happens over the next few days is like scene out of "obsessive-compulsive disorder, the documentary"
i mopped
i cleaned out the entire refrigerator (including that gnarly space behind the vegetable drawers)
scrubbed dog bowls
bleached the baseboards (thinking maybe left over dog-ness was lurking...)

and STILL THE SMELL.

somewhere last night i started to feel like i was genuinely losing my mind. i asked everyone who came in if they smelled the funk, and of course they didn't. but it didn't matter...my ninja smelling sense was telling me something was OFF. (i really do have a freakish sense of smell-if you make kool-aid within 5 days of my entering your kitchen, i'll know. this is not the best "gift" to have, as it makes cab rides with BO drivers something out of a nightmare)

and then i found it.

oh my GOD i found it.

i was going through the pantry & saw a strange bag of potatoes. i pick up the bag, remembering something my mom had told me about how vile potatoes were when bad...

and there was a slight dampness to just one...so i lifted my fingers to my nose to see if that was the source...

and pretty much have been gagging ever since.

one slightly rotten potato. i'm not kidding. that smell is evil. actually, evil doesn't even begin to cover it. it was so bad my knees kept shaking & i felt light headed for awhile afterward. & to put things in perspective, i pick up dog crap every day. so it's not like i live in a rose-scented world. but this was bad, you guys. horror movie bad.

*ps, i have sworn off the potato for awhile. anything that smells like that when bruised is just not right.

(thank you to svacher for the magnificent drawing!)

dog fights & hellooooo september

you guys, i seriously needed a break...so i took a mini-holiday (3 days) to tahoe to just hide in the woods. and of course, i get a call from the dog sitter that bella, my little white pig was bitten by another dog.
so...after rushing home & an elizabethan collar later, here is bella, the temporary tripod wonderdog.
oy.

APB breaker, breaker 1-9

sooooo, i had my car broken into last night & i've made a few pretty interesting observations.

things stolen:
1. radio
2. clif bars from the glove compartment

things NOT stolen:
1. twizzlers from SAME glove compartment as the health food bars
2. stripe-y gap sweater

now, you the discerning reader, are wondering what i gathered from the data above. i've drawn a little sketch of who this ragamuffin is.


the thief is a white male, with views on corporations (he only buys local, and would rather be caught dead than wearing something from the gap/aka "the man".) he drives a VW van & doesn't wear shoes because they hinder his free spirit.

keep your eyes open, people.

(ps, if i was a thief, i would NEVER leave twizzlers behind & steal granola bars. that's just tragic.)

molly the mime

the window from whence i do my "night job" (read "twitter & nerd surf the interwebz") has absolutely zero insulation. none. san francisco is great in a million ways. most apartments don't come with heaters or air conditioners, the weather is that mild. but this presents a problem when it's cold outside. my hands FREEZE OFF. it's really bad. i can't put a heater on my desk, that i learned in fire hazard 101. soooooo....i bought these radical diane keaton gloves to pimp out my night time look. (ps, the tshirt message is "guns don't kill people. people with mustaches kill people.")

i REALLY intend to write posts all the time. seriously. i have about 476 things in the arsenal of what-i-want-to-write-about...but every day just slips by. no. scratch that. races by.

so i this is me. the 7th of april. making an outloud commitment to bring you, my loyal follows, LOTS of awesomeness.

...and away we go!

sooo.....needless to say, after almost 6 hours of lugging boxes in the rain (going to the port, putting everything in the rented 16' truck, taking boxes three at a time with the handtruck up stairs to the freight elevator, running upstairs to meet the elevator, putting boxes back on the hand truck 3-at-a-time & wheeling them to the office...)

THIS IS THE MESS THAT I AM LIVING IN. ah, serenity now. everyone order beds pretty much right on friday & i will be able to get to my desk again without a pole vault.

T-2 days until the launch. inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale.

the week to launch a thousand orders begins

trying VERY HARD to get everything packed...and i mean capital-E, Everything...my checklist is going over the 3-page mark.

such a strange time. excitement mixed with a pretty-much-constant feeling of nausea & restlessness & the feeling that i forgot to do something really important.
here's to great, nay...Amazing things to come. it's a roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-dirty kind of time, and i love it.

the picture is from the white dog (bella, aka "bebop") & i trying to capture our homepage image. i had to coerce her with almost an entire bag of chex mix (i bought at kinkos, at the absolute last minute, realizing none of my dogs work without being bribed. i will be a phenomenal mother of fat-kids if i keep this up.)

barcoded & ready for service

so...i had what i thought was an oh-so-original idea awhile back. i've wanted a tattoo on my wrist for a long time...at least a few years. nothing obnoxious-no latin, nothing floral. just something smallish on the inside of my right wrist. but i haven't pulled the proverbial trigger because i couldn't (& can't) for the life of me figure out something i want to look at permanently & forever.

so my idea...it came to me in a flash. a barcode! it represents everything i want to say-capitalism, robots, man vs. machine...everything. i really thought i had struck gold. i felt like the single most creative person in the world.

i mention my brilliant, fortune 500 idea to a friend. he looked me and laughed so hard he almost got hit by a bus. "there are whole websites of people that have had the same "genius, original" idea. it's one of the most over-done tattooes ever." i looked it up. there's even a GD wikipedia page.

blurg.

so in lieu of getting a dumb tattoo, i collect random barcode stuff. here's to innovation.(barcode pillow. floor mat, wall decal)

exceptionally lame

i could not have more to do...launching a business is tricky business, especially when there are only 2.5 people working on the project. product coming in, trade show, website, customers-i am one step away from total insanity (which let's be real...i'm always pretty close to being a nutter, but i am in a whole other element these days.)
so to you, gentle readers, i apologize for the lackluster posts. i promise to be back on my game-bringing you the joys of the internets very soon. until then, molly mayhem (yes, cameron, me & the other 16-year-old emo kids) is the best i can do. le sigh.

the mafia runs trade shows

i mean, SERIOUSLY?!?! $6,000 for plain, a**-ugly carpet for 3 days? are you insane?! i will be fashioning my booth carpet out of old ring-ding wrappers, or used latex gloves found between now & then on the streets of my fair city (...or something) this is making me SO AGRO.

as is the 476 page exhibition manual. way to go, malevolent monday. i can think of very few things that could be more tedious than this (well, i mean i COULD think of other things...anything involving actuary tables-i don't even know what these are, but people that do always look really sad & depressed & anxious...what else...anything requiring constant smiling from ear-to-shining-ear, which would positively kill me-ok. so that's 2 things more tedious. well played, molly.) back to my own personal idaho. (which is a synonym for "hell" in this case, and maybe all cases.)

(picture from vanity fair spread of hitchcock movies-click on the new picture & it shows you the old one, kind of cool.) this one is from stranger on a train, which i quasi-watched last night.)

moxie & me, blurg moment #2

this will be my new favorite word. because it starts with "m", clearly the best letter in the alphabet (which is why i have 2 of them) & it means determination/nerve-and we can all agree i probably have a smidge of either of those.

i want to post something poetic, jump up & scream philosophical & brilliant about moxie & me. how we met, our respective backgrounds, the pivotal point in the story when we fight & then make up...you know, pulitzer prize winning stuff.but i forgot to reset my alarm this morning, missed a meeting with the banker, had to clean up dog barf, lost my phone (it ran away) & had to call in reinforcements to help me locate it (via fb chat, i mean does anyone still have a land line with an actual phone attached to it?), and now it's 11 freaking o'clock.

so the einstein/steinbeck/rushdie prose will have to wait until i get my brain situated.

(picture via ffffound. best place to waste time-%$ #*% it's 11:45. how does this continue to happen to me?!?)

BLURG moment #1

everyone has these moments-especially when you are self-taught. the short description is like this. imagine you are a carpenter, and you have been drilling screws with the blunt side of a knife for your entire career, and then, by chance, someone shows you an electric drill. and you realize the buckets, if not mountains of hours you have spent doing something the HARDEST WAY POSSIBLE-for no reason. savor the moment.

i had one of these today with illustrator, and i am pretty much dumbstruck by how easy my life could have been for oh...the past 5 years...f*ing envelope distort tool.

BLURG.